"A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to." This wise quote from Robert Brault shows how important it is to really listen to our children to help them grow emotionally and feel good. Sometimes, we forget how powerful listening can be. Active, caring listening can change things for the better, especially when we work with children. In this article, we'll talk about why listening matters for children's emotional growth and give some tips for parents and caregivers to practice active listening.
The Importance of Listening:
Children, like adults, need to share their feelings and emotions. But, they might not have enough words to explain their thoughts and feelings. By actively listening to a child, we give them a safe place to explore their emotions and let them know their experiences matter. This helps them build strong emotional skills and learn how to bounce back from tough times.
Active listening means not just hearing the words but also understanding the emotions and reasons behind them. When we listen to a child in this way, we show them we care about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This helps them trust us and makes it easier for the child to share their feelings and worries later on.
Tips for Active Listening:
Be present: Pay full attention to the child by putting away things like phones or computers. Look them in the eyes and use open body language to show you really want to hear what they have to say.
Reflect and paraphrase: Show you understand the child's feelings by repeating their words in your own way. This helps to make sure you know what they mean and helps them think about their thoughts and emotions.
Be empathic: Show empathy by recognizing the child's feelings and saying you understand. For example, "It sounds like you felt really sad when your friend didn't invite you to the party."
Ask open-ended questions: Help the child think about their thoughts and feelings by asking open questions like, "How did that make you feel?" or "What do you think about that?"
Avoid judgments and assumptions: Listen without judging and don't guess what the child is feeling or going through. Let them share their feelings without being scared of being criticized or not liked.
Give them time: Be patient and let the child take their time to share their thoughts and feelings. Children might need extra time to find the right words or think about what they want to say.
In the end, active listening helps create a kind space for children to share their feelings and learn more about themselves. Remember that children often need someone to listen, not just tell them what to do. By helping them grow emotionally, we teach important qualities like being able to cope, being understanding, and feeling good about themselves. If you see your child having a hard time with emotions, it might be helpful for them to talk to a professional therapist. They use all the skills above and can be an important sounding board for your child. If you live in Northern California, you might try this link to get warm, attuned, and caring support for your child or teen.